It’s a question that I’m often asked, because it’s a difficult thing to do!

You’re trying to be positive or uplifting and you’re surrounded by negative people that can’t or don’t want to see the good that can come of a situation.

Maybe you’re at work and have someone absolutely horrid that you work with and have to deal with on a daily basis and they’re energy just drags you down to the level of miserable.

I’m going to give you some questions that I want you to ask yourself whenever you’re in a negative situation.

Oh, and don’t just ask the question, think of the honest answer to them as well!!

  1. Is this worth getting upset over? Is it really? Is it worth expending all that energy over this situation? Now, sometimes the answer may be yes, someone may have said something that’s hurtful to you and you want to hold onto that hurt, but is it really worth it?

 

  1. How am I reacting like this? First question is look within yourself and ask yourself what your reaction is. Are you upset? Angry? Shocked? Judgmental? Self-righteous? Nail down what you’re feeling / what your reaction is.

 

  1. Why am I reacting like this? Once you’ve worked out what your reaction is, then you need to look deeper again as to why you’re reacting the way that you are. If you’re angry, why are you angry?  Go deeper, don’t just answer with a light easily dismissed reason, such as: “I’m angry because they lied about me / are an asshole/ think they know everything / won’t accept that they’re wrong / won’t help themselves”.  All of those are pretty light and obvious, but WHY are you reacting that way to the negative situation?

 

  1. What’s the lesson I can learn? Once you understand the how and why, then you can find the lesson in it. Acknowledging how and why you react the way you do is the first step in finding the lesson.  If someone has hurt your feelings by a negative comment that they’ve made about you, HOW – are you being too sensitive? WHY – because you have low self-esteem, LESSON – work on building up your self-esteem so that others comments no longer affect you.

 

  1. What’s the positive you can take from this? Learning more about yourself and working on the how / why / what is the positive, you’ve realised that no-one is perfect, including ourselves. It’s a positive thing to improve ourselves.  The positive can also be that you’re seeing someone’s true colours and you know that you no longer want them in your life.  It could also be that someone is lashing out on you because of their own issues but it allows you to be able to reach out to them (they may not want help but it’s still a positive).

 

  1. Can I control the situation? Depending on what’s happening of course, but one thing I also do when I feel myself getting upset at something, is literally ask myself ‘what can I do about it”? If the answer is nothing, because I can’t control the situation / other person, then I’ve taught myself to not give it a second thought, to stop stressing over it again and again. All I’m doing is wasting my energy and giving the person far too much of my mental thoughts!

 

  1. What can I do right now to make the situation better? Be honest, sometimes it’s walking away to calm down, but in asking yourself this question, this is about making the situation better for you, not for other people.  Maybe two people are fighting and you need to just take one away from the situation.  Maybe you need to walk away from the person at work, or maybe you need to turn to them and say, quite calmly, I don’t like the way that you’re talking to me.  Maybe you’ve tried all the above and need to now go to your boss or be honest with the person that’s being negative / toxic.

 

Hopefully, no matter how small or insignificant you can begin practicing the above in handling any situation that you find negative.

I’ll be honest, those small insignificant ones are best to start with because you’re not as emotionally exhausted / invested in the situation.  You’ll get the hang of it with every negative situation you’re in, and by doing this practice, you’ll reduce the amount of negative situations because you won’t be emotionally invested in them anymore.

Love & Light

Katrina x